Hiding
by sarbey
Summary: Basically just fun at Jay Felgers expense. Some SJ and DV implied.


Hi

first a thanks to everybody who left a review for Sleepless. I wrote this after I had seen the episode with Jay Felger as a main character. It was set in season six and I keep forgetting the english title but I'm sure most of you know which one I mean.

Well, they're not mine, finally convinced myself of that.

If you spot mistakes, please tell me. I can't get a comma right in my native language and I don't want to get started on the spelling so please be kind, yes?

Now I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Hiding

Jay Felger was desperate.

Desperate enough to risk angering Dr. Lam and the guards posted outside the infirmary. What wouldn't he give for the physically impossible occurrence of a black hole opening next to him and sucking him into the next dimension, reality, whatever was available at the moment.

He gulped eying the door warily.

How could he possibly explain his latest mishap with his experiments?

They probably still hadn't forgiven him the last one and now this.

He needed a good excuse and he needed it fast. He could blame it on some alien entity. That had worked the time he had accidentally caused a flooding in his lab. But back then Colonel Carter had been stationed at Area 51.

Now she was back.

Which really, really wasn't good.

Really.

One just couldn't get anything past her. That was the problem with scientific geniuses. You could make up the most complicated explanation possible, Samantha Carter would understand. And she would catch any attempts to cover up his mistakes. So he had to come up with something good really fast. Because he was pretty sure that at this moment SG-1 resident genius was on her way to him. Normally he would take this as an excuse to open a bottle of champagne get out a red carpet and generally spend his time dreaming on cloud seven with him and Colonel Carter as main protagonists.

Well, maybe not exactly. He hated champagne, red carpets weren't part of the usual SGC equipment and the last time he had stared at Samantha Carter the wrong way, Jack O'Neill had given him the look. The one he normally reserved for unfriendly snake deities and politicians. And crossing O'Neill was a no go in his books. The man had a frightening talent to exactly know when somebody lusted after the blond Colonel.

And one just had to take a look at what had happened to every poor soul who had dared to do so. That Narim guy, the poor Tok'Ra, and then Orlin. Dr McKay hadn't died but first he'd been shipped of to Russia and then over an even greater distance to another galaxy.

Sure, most probably didn't connect these events to the General but he still wasn't completely convinced that the other man was not guilty.

At least with him being in Washington he could more or less relax in Colonel Carters company without fearing to get himself killed. That certainly was a positive development.

But right now said Colonel was his greatest obstacle in surviving the day. So maybe hiding was his only option for the moment.

First he had to find a way past the marines behind the door. A task that would be difficult considering the marines hadn't been so thrilled after he'd accidentally turned SG-3's fatigues into various shades of pink during an experiment offworld. Not one of his greater moments.

They really hadn't appreciated it and he still avoided being seen near them whenever possible.

Maybe he could make himself invisible. He should have thought of bringing a cloaking device. He was a scientist for God's sake. He should be able to get himself out of this.

The door to the infirmary opened. In a desperate attempt to hide he stumbled backwards over a chair and landed ungraciously on the floor.

"Oh I'm so sorry, Dr Felger, really. This was my fault wasn't it? Wait let me help you."

It wasn't Samantha Carter coming to hurt him but Vala, member of SG-1 and former space pirate who had just rushed into the room. She grabbed his arm and dragged him back onto his feet. Then she picked some imaginary dirt from his clothes and patted him on his cheek.

He felt like an eight year old again.

"Really Jay, you should pay more attention to your surroundings. You'll end up really hurting yourself one day. And we wouldn't want that, would we?"

Her sultry voice made him think of Mrs Robinson. He'd always imagined himself in Dustin Hoffmann's role as a teenager.

Not that he would dare to have inappropriate thoughts about Vala MalDoran.

The aspect of having to deal with Dr Jackson later was too frightening to even consider it. The archaeologist might have been a scientist once, well of course he still was, but now he also was a seasoned soldier, every officer on base would have been glad to have watching his or her back. He might look harmless with his gestures and glasses but underneath Jay bet the man was pure steel by now.

Not to forget that he was best friends with General O'Neill and Teal'c. And an angry Jaffa was something everybody on base tried to avoid when possible.

Dr Jackson liked to pretend that the brunette woman drove him crazy but Jay Felger cold see the man was in love. He even had placed a bet on them and with a bit luck he would soon be able to collect a lot of money. Ok, Sgt Chekov would be able to and he really should watch less Star Trek.

If he survived this day he vowed he would start on getting a live besides his job and Science Fiction reruns.

Meanwhile Ms MalDoran had abandoned him again, leaving him to his fate, probably oblivious to his imminent demise.

Somehow he thought he always managed to completely screw his projects. There was just something about alien technology that didn't mix with him. He knew he could be considered a genius. He suspected that was the only reason they still kept him around. Theories and calculations where no problem but when he got to the practical part of his work…

He had yet to manage the task of connecting his inner genius with his outward actions.

He knew what happened today had been completely his fault and he was prepared to deal with the consequences, at least he liked to think he was.

At this moment a very angry Samantha Carter stormed into the infirmary. She spotted him her eyes narrowed and he was prepared for a slow and painful death.

"Dr Felger, mind explaining why the hell your lab is completely covered in cotton candy?"

He gulped.

Where was a black hole when you needed one?


End file.
